Money is an important topic for all relationships. Money problems are a leading cause of divorce among couples, and I believe that we should do all in our power to stop that. The first way to do so is by understanding your and your significant other’s money habits and preferences.
Chances are, you are either a saver or a spender. And so is your loved one! And when you’re able to understand how you and your spouse view money individually, you can come up with a game plan of how you can understand money together.
The Saver
You’re probably a saver if you love seeing your bank account numbers go up. You look at all the prices when you’re at the grocery store and are probably adding up the total in your head as you go around. Let’s be honest, you hate shopping at any store because you’re forced to spend money. You find security in having an emergency fund. And you make the needed sacrifices in your budget elsewhere so that you can put more to savings.
The Spender
You love shopping. Whether its for something you need or want. But this doesn’t mean that you don’t have any financial knowledge! You enjoy spending every dollar that you’re allowed. You were the kid who spent allowance the week you received it on something you just had to have. You find joy in spending money on things or experiences.
Money And Relationships
When you and your spouse can individually determine if you’re a spender or saver, you can understand how to work with money together. Here are some tips on how you and your spouse can navigate money depender on your spender and saver relationship.
Saver, Saver
This is Jacob and I so I do know a little more about this one! Two savers are going to be great at accomplishing financial goals together. Neither of you really find much value in spending money on things or experiences, but would rather accomplish financial goals. Together you will pay off debts quickly and be on the right path to emergency and retirement savings. Which is awesome! And you might not be struggling in your financial communication because you both understand each others’ financial desires. But if you’re both savers, it’s important that you are more mindful of your financial blindspots.
For Jacob and I, it’s hard to spend money. We’ve been really bad about enjoying our money. We don’t often go on dates or out to movies or entertainment. Because we’d rather save the money into the bank… But those things are important too. What I suggest doing when you both are savers is to save for these fun events. Jacob and I have found so much value in creating line items in our budget for those fun things like going out to eat. When it’s in the budget, we’re giving ourselves permission to spend. We also save each month for vacation. Because if we didn’t we probably would never go on one.
It’s important to save for the future, but it’s also important to enjoy today! So for all my savers out there, make sure you budget in the fun and spending.
Saver, Spender
Usually the trickiest of money relationships. You both want different things with your money. But different is also awesome. You get to encourage each other on your financial journey and embrace your differences. As a couple, you probably are able to accomplish both goals and fun! But with two people who have two different ideas, it isn’t always easy.
To make sure that both of you are feeling confident about financial decisions, use your budget to its full advantage. Together, you both have to be in communication. And you NEED to create a budget together. Sit down at the beginning of the month to create a budget and tell your money where to go. Both of you need to give input, and have an understanding about what the other wants to do with money. Make a game plan that involves both spending and saving. Set a savings goal amount so that you can focus on accomplishing those financial goals. Then give yourselves the room to spend money on what the spender wants.
And here’s the key: stick to the budget when it comes to spending! As I said previously, a budget gives you permission to spend. So think of a budget in that regard. But for you, spender, once you run out of money to spend stop spending!! For you saver/spender relationships, you’re going to have to do a lot of communication. Be open and honest about what each of you values, and then come to a compromise with the budget.
Spender, Spender
If you and your significant other are both spenders, you probably have a lot of fun together! You are probably going on lots of adventures, enjoying your money, and living in the present. But by both being spenders, your finances might get carried away. If you are a spender, I can’t stress enough that a budget gives you permission to spend. I know many people who have had negative experiences with a budget in their past, but I’ll say again, a budget gives you permission to spend!!
Being two spenders, it’s important that you allow yourselves to spend within the context of a budget. At the beginning of the month, sit down with your partner to create a budget or plan for your money. I would highly suggest giving each other a personal spending line item. This is money that you each get to spend with no questions asked. Jacob and I are both savers and we still have this in our budget because it is that important.
As spenders, it may be a little bit more difficult for you to reach your financial savings goals. But with a budget in place, you’re sure to get there! Give yourself permission to spend, and be sure to include saving in your budget plan. And if you need it, invite a saver friend into your financial lives to be the encouragement you need to save for your financial future. Together, you’re sure to have a fun relationship together while you accomplish your financial goals.